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"My disease is only an arm's length away from me," says the mother of one. "It's demoralising, it's shameful, it's dark, and it thrives on all of those things," says Valletta.Įven though she's been sober for 15 years now, she says the battle is still very real. Valletta, who is married to Olympic volleyball player Chip McCaw, described her experience as a using addict as a journey "to the worst places". The supermodel says drugs and alcohol were widely used in the industry and, as a "socially inept kid" from Oklahoma in a sophisticated world, they provided the perfect escape. She admitted she'd probably been high by the age of 10, and when she moved to Europe at 18 she discovered cocaine and alcohol. Valletta says she first started searching for a buzz when she was just eight years old, sniffing markers, nail polish and glue. "I know for certain that I am an addict through and through and that even if I'd had this blessed and amazing childhood I'd still want to get higher, I'd still want to get out of myself." The supermodel, who has graced the cover of Vogue 16 times, says she's an addict because she feels uncomfortable as a person.
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"I don't blame my parents, I don't blame my family and I don't blame anything that happened to me that was negative," says Valletta. Valletta, who was raised by her single mother, says her upbringing is not at all to blame for her problems. "Once you feed the monster, there's a switch and it takes hold." "I sort of started trying to get out of myself at a very early age," says the 40 year old, adding she believes she is genetically predisposed to addiction.